Time for a smile

And to finish off on a lighter note...

Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

Stalking is when two people go for a long, romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

At the bank, I told the teller, "I'd like to open a joint account please." "OK, with whom?" "Whoever has lots of money."

I wasn't planning on going for a run today but those cops came out of nowhere!

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

The funny thing about Facebook is you can talk about one person and it makes 20 others think it's about them!

If you love someone let them go... if they come back, nobody wanted them.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For instance, if they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

Sources unknown but thank you for the smile!